Post nine..a weird experience.

Alright, so I was in panic mode last night and haven't been sleeping much because of this project. The amount of researh and effort I'm putting in is crazy. This is one of the projects that I've put the most time in. Anyway, my point is...I had a crazy hallucination last night. I was sitting at my computer, deciding what I wanted to post next to the blog, and I swear I heard someone say "Malia". So naturally I turned, thinking it was my mother or one of my friends climbed through my window again (they have been known to do that...they're weird but I love them.) Anyway, I turned and I swear to you I saw Sethe. She talked to me. She was saying to me that writing and researching things about her, has made her feel like I truly care, which I do. She said, it made her want to make me her child, even though I was white. I thought it was super sweet because of how devoted she was to her kids, howeve, I don't necessarily want her to try to kill me. Though she assured me, she wouldn't. She said I need to stop being so hard on myself. She said that I'm doing fine and while I may not be able to completely get her down, she appreciates that I care and the effort I put in. She said, that in a way, the way I'm acting and going about my presentation, is making me seem like a 21st century slave to research, academics, and trying to impress others and doing everything that they say. She says I need to give myself some positive thoughts and escape to a better place, like she escaped to a new place away from dreadful Sweet Home. I realize she wasn't actually in my room with me, but I swear it felt so real. Maybe I should sleep a little..but I'm just so worried about this project, and I want to do well. I haven't been sleeping, or eating. I swear it's what school does to you. A lot of people just don't want to admit it, especially if you aren't a student. Maybe I'll take a break from writing tonight, and just drink some tea, eat something and go to bed. I'll take another crack at it tomorrow.